Slow Destruction of Ourselves 

I may hear some comments about this one but here it goes…
Social media is an addiction. It’s a literal addiction where whoever uses it feels a need for it, they feel drawn to it and sometimes it can cause that person trouble. It makes you feel like you have to have it or else you’ll go insane. 
It consumes you and makes you oblivious to things around you. 

I myself have been guilty of this many times and upon casually scrolling through Facebook this morning, it hit me! 

I asked myself why I am reading this? What am I doing exactly? 

I catch myself reading articles about signs you’ve found you’re soulmate or life partner or helicopter parenting. 
I’ll occasionally find myself reading fitness articles or seeing pictures of people who probably know every detail of Photoshop. And I know many of you reading this are guilty of similar things, we all are! What we don’t realize is how much damage we are inflicting on ourselves. 

It’s literally a slow death to your self esteem and your confidence each and every time you spend time on social media. And someone else’s every time you share a post. It makes you question you and every thing or person around you. 

With that, I will give an example! 

I’ve read more articles about signs you’ve found the man you should marry more times than I’d like to admit…and with each one I catch myself thinking, oh Tommy (my boyfriend who I have know for 8 years now) does that or doesn’t do that… What am I doing? 

I am comparing my relationship to someone probably halfway across the world who has no idea who I am, who my boyfriend is or any aspect of my relationship with Tommy…

So how does this person know that these are signs that Tommy should or shouldn’t be my husband one day? 

How do they know what I want in my relationship or what Tommy and I want from each other? 

Well…truth is, they don’t! And never will. So why am I taking my precious time reading their post? 

Another good example…and I have been guilty of this one too! 

FITNESS! So much of anything social media is filled with fitness goals and how a person should look it’s ridiculous. 

On Instagram, I might scroll by a picture someone else posted about a girl who is a size 2 all thanks to this magic fruit nobody in freaking America has even heard of. 

That’s an unrealistic goal my friend! To me being fit is being healthy and taking care of yourself. You don’t have to be a size 2 in order to do that. I am a proud size 4-6 and I worked hard to get there. I may not eat healthy all the time but I am, for the most part, proud of my health and the way I look. I walk with confidence. And I started by setting a goal for myself and reaching it in a way that worked for me! 

Each time you see or read something that you’re not, what happens? 

You think I will never be like that…and all your confidence that you’ve worked really hard to build gets knocked right back down! Am I right? 

On top of that…we see everyone else’s world. The rhings they do, the places they go, their friends, their families…every aspect of their world they choose to share. 

And that makes us think about the things we don’t have instead of the things we do… 

And that, my readers, is how social media destroyed human life every single day. And it is gradually getting worse and worse. 

So instead of the usual New Years resolutions…I set one for myself and said I am not going to let the social world around me demolish the life I chose to create for myself. 

Thanks for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs! ❤️ 

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The World Doesn’t Need to be Happy 

Today’s post is something that I think really hits people hard, something that we struggle with everyday. 

Making yourself happy! 

Everyone goes through tons of decisions throughout their daily lives, most based on what other people will think… it’s human nature to worry about the opinions of others around you. 

But what about your own opinion? What do you think about that comfy shirt you want to wear or the new man/woman that your talking to… 

Being a 21 year old college woman, I understand these thoughts and go through them on a regular basis. Recently, however, I have discovered a new mindset…

Why should it matter what the person working out next to you thinks about your hair? 

Truth is…it doesn’t matter. And the more we realize that other people don’t notice us as much as we think they do, the better off you will feel. 

I’m sure that many of you have heard the quote, “those who matter, don’t mind and those who mind, don’t matter.” 

And this is literally one of the most truthful things I’ve ever heard. Think about who you care about and who cares about you. Think about whose opinion you really value…is it really the guy sitting next to you in class or is it a best friend you’ve had since your freshman year of high school? 

Truth is…people judge, yes, but those who mean the most to you will support you regardless of their opinions. 

A look into another form of Life

First off today, I would like to apologize for being a bit on the quiet side lately. I went on a vacation a few weeks ago with my mom and I work two jobs on top of everything else.

Speaking of vacations though, I really wanted to share my experience with everyone! First, my vacation was the first cruise my mom and I have ever been on! We were on the Carnival Cruise ship the Elation for five days and sailed from New Orleans, LA to Cozumel, Mexico for a day then Yucatan, Mexico for another day before heading back home!

I have to say that if any of my readers have never been on a cruise, I highly recommend it! My mom and I absolutely loved it and had the best time together 🙂 . I can honestly say it was the best and most relaxing yet fun-filled vacation we have ever taken. We loved it so much we are even planning another trip for next year!

Our first day on board was really us exploring and figuring out where things were and how everything worked, but that was exciting and adventurous! We actually got to board way earlier than we expected as well so we got even more time on the ship! J We had our first drinks, ate a nice lunch and dinner, watched a show and even enjoyed some dancing in the nightclub. Our second day was even better! At this point we were already in the middle of the ocean where all you could see for miles was nothing was deep blue ocean. We took advantage of the views and all the different shades of blues we could see. We also spent some most of our day by the pool soaking up the sun! In between we ate of course and played some more on the ship! Needless to say, we ate a lot of good food and there is something available to you literally 24 hours a day!

Our third day was probably the most exciting…this is when we ported in Cozumel, Mexico! Everything was beautiful, the town, shops and the water was literally see though Turquoise. After doing a little sight-seeing, we lined up to go on our shore excursion we had booked which was a high speed boat ride, along with some 360 degree turns, to a beautiful private beach area called Isle Pasion. There were shops, where mom and I got t-shirts, places to get henna tattoos, which we also did, authentic Mexican food, hammocks and beach chairs and tables with umbrellas, of course pretty blue-green water to swim in and even water trampolines for us to play on! It was a peaceful yet exciting day for mom and I and after our beach time was over, we walked around the town some before getting back on our ship. That night we were so worn out from our day, we fell asleep after dinner and slept until 6:30am the next day!

On our journey so far, we had made quite a few friends and met new people while on board, which makes it even more fun!

Our next day in port in Yucatan, Mexico was filled with shopping, enjoying more food and having some drinks with the friends we had made! Mom and I got a lot of good stuff for good prices since people love to bargain over there. We found us a fun bar and had some beers and daiquiris. I did the wobble dance (lol) and at the end of the day had to carry a random guy back to the ship 😀 (haha) he was drunk!

Our last play day on the ship before returning home was spent all over, by the pool, playing in the casino, shopping and watching shows! Mom and I were not ready to come home at all!

Upon porting back in New Orleans the next day, mom and I enjoyed breakfast as we had done every other morning (it was delicious), we filled our souvenir cups up and sat on the deck until it was our turn to board off. We said hello and goodbye to our friends and went through all the steps to departing ways with the best vacation we had ever been on! We got our luggage and were greeted with hugs and kisses from my dad and my boyfriend, then loaded up to come back reality!

Before getting off the ship so many people had said “go back to reality,” and the morning we had to leave, it hit me, the more I thought about it, the more people saying that made sense…it is literally the best description of having to come back home. Everything is different on the ship, you really feel like you’re just in a totally different world of existence. And through this world, I learned how peaceful and uplifting it is not to have to worry about phones and social media and technology and to have conversations at breakfast and dinner instead of resting your nose on the screen of a phone the entire time.

I asked my mom what her favorite part about the vacation in general was and she said the exact same thing I did…not having to be bothered with phones ringing and messages coming through. We absolutely loved not having access to technology and beforehand I had told myself I couldn’t survive without my phone and I’m sure many of you have had the same thought…so to put this simply, if given the option, I would do all over again and even now, when I go certain places, I put my phone away and enjoy life that much more!

I hope this post has inspired everyone to see the bigger picture in things and I say once again that everyone should take a cruise at least once in their life!

Thanks for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs! 🙂

One of the Hardest Subjects About Life: Death!

The other day I was inspired to write a post on something a lot of people are afraid of and something some people maybe don’t understand. I was inspired through a college psychology class that I am currently taking. I was inspired through a teacher who wanted the class to watch a video on this very subject that some people avoid… The natural part of life, death.

I understand for some of you reading this right now that it may be hard, it may bring tears. Some of you will understand of some won’t and that’s okay. No matter who you are, if you took the time to read this, I thank you and hope that I help each and every one of you in some way through my words.

While watching that video in class, something spoke to me, especially in two particular parts. One being random people asked where they would want to be in their hour of passing, pretty much everyone said in their homes with their families. The other part was towards the end and was focuses on one man and what he was going through. He had a disease that affected his nervous system and would ultimately end with the passing of life. Upon listening to this man’s story, he says that he didn’t want to suffer, when you start to lose some of the good things about life, such as being to able your hand or your leg on your own. When you can no longer do simple things for yourself, like brushing your teeth…it becomes harder to notice the things you can do and easier to notice the things you cant’ do.

Hearing his words made me think of my grandmother who passed away in October 2012. I was very close to my grandma, in fact, my mom used to call me a “grandma’s girl” verses the usual “daddy’s girl.” The night her life on Earth ended and all the memories I cherished with her will forever be in mind heart and mind. In order for me to explain why this video spoke to me in such an encouraging way, I will explain what happened to my grandmother.

My grandma was a very strong woman, fought and won two battles with two types of cancer, stopped smoking cold turkey and even survived the loss of her husband of 47 years just a few years before she lost her last battle. Her last seemed a lot simpler than others she faced, but being 84 years old, she was tired. Her first round of cancer was a tumor very close to one of her kidneys and ultimately, she won her battle by having that kidney removed. However, due to only having one kidney, it made things a lot harder on her when the one she did have started shuting down.

The only way to fix this issue is to either have surgery or start kidney dialysis which basically does the common fuctions of a healthy kidney when your kidneys fail to work. Due to her age, the doctors were afraid that she would not make it through surgery so she opted for dialysis. She was in the hospital for a few days for her treatements and the family would all o spend some time with her during the day. I would go sit on the bed with her and watch some of our favorite shows and tell her about my day because she would always ask.

Well, she went through two rounds of dialysis before complications started. One night, my mom was visiting her while I was at school, she had come home around 8pm and said everything was fine when she left but she kept saying something told her to stay. Around 10pm that night, she recieved a call from the hospital saying that she needed to get up there as soon as she could. My mom and I threw on some clothes and my dad drove us there, good thing we only live a few minutes away. When we first got there, my mom went in by herself to figure out what happened and where we needed to go, she made me stay with my dad. Seems like forever went by before we went up to see her and by this time, a lot of my other family had shown too. Finally, all of us get to go in and when we get to the floor was on, we immediately were greeted by her doctor. He talked to my mom and some other family members, but I didn’t know what we happening. Then comes the moment of understanding for me..the moment the doctor took my entire family into a room just for us. At this point, I knew what was happening, but it hadn’t set in yet, even seeing everyone around me crying. When my cousins, who are close to my age and whom I’ve always been close with showed up, all of us tried to laugh and talk with each other. We started hearing code blues and at first we didn’t understand what that meant. All that changed for us when we were told we could go see her in small groups. When it my mom and I’s turn, that’s when I finally understood what was going to happen, that’s when everything hit me. I found myself walking back to see her with tears already running down my face. Code blue means cardiac arrest; my grandma had been labeled code blue twice since we had been there and once before we arrived, there was nothing else they could for her. Upon entering the room, I always tell myself it was no longer my grandma lying there on that table. She had a tube in her mouth and a machine allowing her chest to move up and down. I went up to that table anyways and said my goodbyes, the fact that she didn’t respond to me was a clear sign she wasn’t really there.

I didn’t want to leave, but my mom made me due to my having classes the next day. My dad took me home at midnight and as much as my mom wanted to get sleep, I knew I wasn’t going to get much. I cried a lot at this point but also found myself praying for my grandma. I prayed for God not to let her suffer anymore, on the other hand, I did pray for God not to take her away, but more to let her have peace. A few hours latre, my mom came home and told me that she was gone. I shook my head okay and of course started to cry again, but I look back now and realize that God answered my prayer, he didn’t let her suffer anymore. Which now I also realize that it was because my mom had told the doctors not to try to save her, to let her go in peace which I am thankful to my mom for.

Anyways, why the video brought all these memories…my grandma never had the chance to say she wanted to die in her home with her family, I never got the chance to hold her hand and be there for her when she took that last breath and a lot of people don’t get that opportunity. A lot of people don’t get the chance to say what they want when their time comes and this video makes a good point about that.

It my honest opinion that I think everyone should take the time to have this conversation with the people they love, even though its uncomfortable. I can honestly say that I think about dying and how I would want things pretty often but I’ve never expressed those thoughts with my family and friends and after seeing that video in class, I just might get up enough courage to do so and I encourage all my readers and followers to do so as well

Thanks for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs! 🙂

Hint – The feature image on this post was my grandma, my cousin and I at my high school graduation. I am very thankful she got to be there for that milestone in my life.

Confidence is Key!

Fitness and being the “perfect” size is a big issue right now and seems to be growing. I say “perfect” because to me, everyone’s ideal size is different. Everyone has different goals.

I decided to post this blog today in order to let people know how hard it is to be “perfect.” This is not to discourage anyone but to simply open eyes of people who want that Victoria Secret’s model body or (for my manbugs), to e strong and buff like pro weight-lifters or something. To let my readers know that it’s okay to want to be healthy and fit, but it’s also okay to have a “not so perfect” figure as long as you are comfortable and confident!

To start this off, I will tell you my story.

When I graduated high school in 2011, I weighed 117 lbs which was about 5 lbs under what I should’ve been. I ate though and didn’t care what I ate, when I ate or anything…

I also played soccer and had practice every day for an hour or so during the week, plus games…sometimes even on the weekends. I think it’s safe to say I got my fair share of good exercise.

Anyways, I started college the same year I graduated and my eating habits didn’t change, but my exercise did. By my junior year, I weighed about 150 lbs, people always tell me I didn’t look like it, but to me, I did. Anyways, that was about 9 lbs over what I should’ve weighed.

One day around Christmas time, my entire family decided that all of us could use to drop a few pounds. At the beginning of 2014, my family and I started exercising 5 days a week, eating healthier and lighter but also not depriving ourselves if we wanted a treat here and there. Between all of this, I lost 25-30 lbs which put me in healthy weight range.

Now, towards the first part of 2015, I still weigh 120 lbs, have kept weight off and everything…However, I still sometimes see myself as being bigger. I have an issue with bloating and am currently trying to figure out why, but because of this issue, I feel uncomfortable and sometimes like I don’t even want people looking at me…I feel like they see what I see. In my eyes, I do everything I should…I eat healthy, no fast food, I don’t drink a lot of soda, I stick to water, coffee and tea and exercise 5 times a week for at least an hour each day.

As I look back on things now, I was more confident when I weighed 150 lbs because I wasn’t concerned about anything. Trying to stick with eating healthy and exercising when you feel like it’s not helping is extremely hard and my struggle is constant, it is very rare that I get relief. Currently, I am considering lactose intolerance because it runs in my family or digestive issues… I really to the point of I don’t know what to do anymore.

My point here though is that I’m not fat, I am healthy, even though I sometimes don’t feel like it. Keeping tis in my head is my biggest challenge right now and I want inspire other people who may feel the same way that it’s okay, everyone goes through their own struggles.

Personally, I think curves are beautiful and there are all different shapes and sizes.

And if you feel good in your body and have that confidence, then I admire you and I hope that you never let someone else take that confidence away from you! It’s a hard thing to earn back.

Thanks for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs 🙂 and want you to know that all of you are beautiful/handsome in my mind!

Stay confident! 🙂

Tip: The photo above is my weight loss progress. May I was 150 lbs and October I was 120 lbs.

Tattooed and employed!

Everyone knows of the growing controversy over people who have tattoos and workplaces who don’t appreciate the art. I have personally never had an issue with this, however the one tattoo I do have is in a place that can be easily covered. I plan on adding to it soon but the addition won’t be too much extra to cover of needed.

I got my tattoo when I was 19. Granted that’s a good age, I think, but I was living with my parents and they were not in complete agreement with me wanting one, despite the fact that my dad has one. I had always told my mom I  wanted one and she never openly disapproved until the day I went to have it done. I let her know my entire game plan, what I was doing, where I was going, who I was going with, etc. Ultimately, after the fuss I got from both of my parents, they said it was my decision. Of course, wanting to do what I wanted, I stayed the night with my best friend and her and I went that night to have my tattoo done.

The next day is when it really got bad…my mom called and asked if I had gotten my tattoo which I said yes. When I plain and simple answered her, she went over the edge on me! She went on a rant fussing and yelling at me over the phone. Then she asked if I was coming home and I said, “If all you’re going to do is complain, then no I am not coming home.” By this point, my best friend’s mom had overheard everything and let me know that I was welcome to stay there if I wanted to.

This was the point of my mom’s rant that we went too far with me…  (referring my grandmother, whom I was extremely close to before she passed away in 2012) my mom says, “that woman is rolling over in her grave right now.”

I cried.. a lot and told her she didn’t have to say that to me (my grandma didn’t like tattoos on women). Needless to say, shortly after, I hung the phone and winded up staying with my best friend again.

The next day, I went home and my dad wouldn’t even look at me…my mom wasn’t there due to work but when she got home, both of them asked to see it. I showed it them, skeptically, and BOTH of them proceeded to tell me it looked good and throughout the healing process, my mom would help put lotion on it for me, considering it’s on my right shoulder blade. As she got more and more used to it, she later said that my grandma would’ve liked it too. She even knows about my addition plans and is ok with it and even wants one herself.

I have recently read a post about a mother who said her son broke her into a million pieces, or something crazy like that, by getting a tattoo.

My point here was to let people know that just because you may have a different opinion than somebody else, nobody deserves to be discriminated against or treated badly. I know from experience that things can be said and feelings can be hurt.

Parents, if you have children like me in any way, be grateful their making their own choices, even if you think it’s wrong. Love them anyway!

Thank you for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs 🙂

Weird world of (not) reality…aka dreams.

I was awakened early this morning from one of the weirdest, scariest, craziest dreams I have ever had! I was pretty startled when I awoke, but not just from the dream itself, but also from how I was woken up.

Let me first explain to my readers that I am a firm believer in ghosts and spirits of all kinds, including ones that aren’t so casper the friendly ghost. I have experienced things in my life that most people would not even think to believe, however I don’t typically share my stories due to the fact that I ate the “you’re crazy” or “that didn’t really happen to you” looks and/or comments I have gotten before. If you would like to hear some of my experiences, leave me a comment and I will share some of them.

Anyways, with that being said, I will explain my dream.

It started with me, my cousin Jamie and my grandma and grandpa in a house. In my dream, my cousin had began to explain to me that she had seen the spirits of two little girls and an old woman in the house. she explained to me that they were evil and hateful spirits and that if I see them, I need to run. She said first, you’ll see a little girl and it all goes downhill after that.

Upon standing in the kitchen with Jamie, my eyes caught sight of a small child, black and white who plainly walked passed me, I never saw her face. I remember exactly what she was wearing, her hair, everything.

I listened to my cousin’s advice and ran, but I ran to my grandma and sat down at her feet. Once again, the spirit of the little girl made herself known to me. This time, I saw her face. She had no eyes, they were just sockets, black and dark, almost like a skeleton. In my dream, I put my face in my grandma’s lap then out of no where, I felt this searing pain in my back left side. In my dream, I screamed in agony and dropped to the floor to find that I had been bitten by the little girl. The scary part out of this whole unconscious ordeal was that the sharp pain I felt in my side is what woke me up. My eyes popped open and I could literally feel teeth in my skin. I laid there with my back arched, breathing hard and heavy until I couldn’t feel the pain anymore.

As I said before, I was quite frightened and found myself frantically looking around my room as if I would find someone there. Of course I didn’t, so I comforted myself by turning on a small light and tried to get back to sleep.

I woke up this morning and looked at my side but there was not a single mark.

Now I have had some pretty weird dreams before but this is,by far, the weirdest and scariest.

I hope that you don’t think I’m crazy but if you do that’s okay! Thanks for reading ladybugs and manbugs 🙂 Feel free to leave some comments!

Hello 2015!

In honor of the coming of another New Year, I am posting probably the most understated and cliche thing any human can express….a New Year’s Resolution.

I’ve honestly never been one to really say I have a resolution or a goal I desired to accomplish. Last year, I had the same goal everyone else did, lose a few pounds and I am very proud to say that I achieved that! This year, I have a different, more important plan for myself. With 2014 coming to and end and 2015 just kicking off, I have every intention of trying harder to see my friends more often and to spend time with them when I can and to make more time when I am struggling. To contact them as much as possible and let them know that I am still here and still care. In 2014, I will admit, I failed to do these things as much as I wanted to and gave myself the excuse of school and work, which being in college and working, sometimes it does get hard to fill in blank spaces in your day to day calender. With that, I am not promising myself to see my friends and family as much as I want to, but to try harder to make them a bigger part of my life because I know that I will be busy and will have homework and sometimes will just want some time to take a breather and that’s okay!

Now that I have spoke my mind and told everyone what I am planning for my New Year, I encourage others to find a unique resolution, something that means more to you than some silly weight loss target. Look beyond that!

And when someone asks you what change you are making in the New Year, you can look at them and be proud of the words that you are about to speak. ❤

Thanks for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs 🙂

Happy New Year and be safe!

Kayla’s Confessions!

A random conversation with a co-worker today inspired me to write a post confessing a few things that MOST people probably do but really don’t want to admit to… *no judgement* lol

Here it goes…

As a girl, I probably use an excessive, more than I should, amount of body spray when I go places.

I am guilty of binge-watching shows on Netflix, mainly Supernatural and Dexter.

I am, unfortunately, a procrastinator…

I love the show Rugrats and those old Christmas shows where the characters look like clay. Ex. Rudolph’s Shiney New year, A Year Without Santa Clause, etc.

I hate germs and use germ-x pretty consistently

Sometimes I even think I am slightly obsessed with exercising!

I have a secret board on Pintrest with nothing but wedding ideas on it lol (my boyfriend knows)

I’m really not much of a junk food eater, but I can put down some fries and ice cream

Once again, as a girl, I put on outfit after outfit until I find something I like and have like 8 pairs of boots in my closet

Half the clothes in my closet I will look at and say no to time and time again.

I could not live without caffeine. Seriously, I really think I had a bad response to caffeine withdrawal one time and it was not fun! I’m more of a coffee drinker than anything.

I love being a girl and dressing up sometimes, however, I love my leggings and sweatpants just as much! LOL

I will put on a tiny bit of make-up if someone is coming to my house, even if I’m not going out of my house.

I am guilty of popping pimples (gross I know!)

I literally hate shaving! (ladybugs, I know you agree on this one) 🙂

Those are all the things I can think of off the top of my head, however there are plenty more there lol. With that, we all have some weird habits or things we won’t admit to doing…so this is just my way of letting my readers know, it’s okay, we are ALL guilty of 90 percent of the same things lol. Don’t be afraid to admit these things anymore, we are all human!

Thanks for reading ladybugs and manbugs! 🙂

Merry Christmas!