A Stranger’s Love

Today I learned just how true it is that you don’t know how or when you can make a difference in someone’s life. Something that seems so simple to you could mean everything to someone’s who is struggling. I was lucky one today, the one who saw the God works in mysterious ways sometimes, the one who finally heard what she needed to hear…someone who barely knows me made that difference in my life!

The past couple of months have been rough and I know that things could be a lot worse than they are and I also know that there is someone who has bigger problems than I do. So instead of going into detail…I will you a rundown of my crazy life.

I am 22 years old and currently a full-time student who is graduating next semester, a part-time worker, I just bought a new car and got some new furniture for my room. This year I lost some friends and gained a relationship with an amazing guy ho I’ve known for about 8 years now. I currently live with my parents, until I graduate college, I pay for my car and gas for my car, pay for my furniture, help with food and give my parents extra money when I have it. I have never been a problem child. I’ve never smoked anything besides hookah, will drink on occasion (so do my parents), never been into drugs or anything and do not have any children yet. I help my mom keep our house clean, keep my room clean, help with cooking and various other things for them. I will even give them money sometimes so they can go out and have some fun too.

In between schoolwork, homework, graduation, regular work and getting my Chiropractic Assistant certificate, making sure bills are paid and things are kept clean…it’s safe to say I have some stress in my life. To make matters even more stressful, my parents do not like nor approve of the guy I am dating. And it’s all because they judged the book by its cover. They won’t take the time to know him…he is currently not welcomed in my house and I am not to be caught going over to his house (we are both 22, he lives with his sister and his sister and my best friend, they are family to me). Every time I want to spend time with him (tommy) or his sister (April) it is literally World War 4, 5, 6, 7…in my house. And I know that I liv with them and I respect them because they are my parents. If I don’t do as I’m told, it is a blow out! I’ve tried talking with them, my mom especially, to try and get them to see that I’m happy. I have failed several times at my attempt and still don’t understand why…I always think back to the fact that I am good daughter to them, I can make my own decisions and granted don’t typically make bad ones but even if I do, I learn from them.

Anyways…my battle has now taken me to the point where I know I make a decision they don’t like or don’t follow their rules for my own happiness, there will be big consequences…which may or may not lead to my being kicked out of their house.

In light of all that, let’s get to the point behind this post.

There is a Rite Aid a minute down the road from my house and my mom and I go in there a lot…we have to get ice and my parents smoke so they get cigarettes and all that too. One of the cashiers knows us well because of us coming in so often. She is super nice and talks to us every time we come in if she’s there.

My mom forgot to get ice on our way from seeing a Christmas light show, so she sent me up to Rite Aid to get ice. Ms. Gloria (the cashier) was working and they were slow, so when I had paid for my ice, we had a nice conversation. She knows about my mother’s non-liking of my boyfriend due to drunken conversation she has had with Ms. Gloria on random Saturday nights. I guess I just really needed to vent to someone other than my boyfriend and his sister. I told her a lot and it felt really good to have someone around the same age of my parents agree with me on the matter. Another customer came up to the counter so I politely moved over and ended our conversation by jokingly saying well if I come in the store homeless next week, you know why. I giggled some after I said that but her response silenced my laughter almost instantly…this woman who barely knows me, looked at me and said, “I’ll make room for you.”

I simply said alright was I walked at the door, but it hit me a lot harder once I sat in my car and started driving off. I had the urge to cry, so I put my hand up to my mouth and felt tears well up in my eyes at the simple thought of how her words made a difference in my life in a positive way.

The more I thought about it…the more I realized that God had put me in the right place at the right time. Had my mom and I not forgotten the ice, I wouldn’t have gotten to have that conversation and those words are something I will never forget!

Thanks for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs! 🙂

Moral for Today: You’re really not promised tomorrow!

Hello Bugs! I went through a small, yet, traumatic experience the other day and decided to share it with everyone as a way of letting my readers know that you really don’t know what can happen. It’s very true that you don’t know when it could be the last time you may talk or see someone.

On Monday, March 16th, 2015, my mother and I were casually walking into a Wal Mart. Upon getting out of our car, we see a car flying down the aisles of the parking lot. As the guy went by us, my mom proceeds to yell out “stupid,” which I wouldn’t expect any less from her. We paid him no other mind and continued walking to the entrance. Right before walking inside, we see the guy again manically driving around the lot. This time, however, he proceeds to drive on the sidewalk and attempted to run over two girls walking in front of a few shops. He also almost hit the building in the process and then proceeds to back up on the sidewalk going about 50 miles an hour which lead to him almost hitting the Wal Mart building.

After that he sped off through the parking lot and then left. At this point, everyone was extremely shocked and freaked out. My mom called the police to report him and found out someone else had turned him as well.

During the moment he was speeding all around after attempting to basically commit murder, all I could think really was oh my goodness, he’s going to kill someone, a child, and at any moment, he could come running on the sidewalk where my mom and I are standing and we may not be able to get out of the way fast enough!

It was a very frightening experience. At this time, I do not know if he has been caught or if he’s still speeding around.

This experience really showed me that sometimes people really are lost and need guidance. It also made me see even more that nobody is guaranteed tomorrow or the days after that…

I just want to make sure that everyone knows to let people know you care about them and always be aware of what’s going on around you.

I know this was a short post, but thanks for reading Ladybugs and Manbugs!

Be safe!

What a promise looks like.

The idea of a promise ring has been recently brought up in conversations between my boyfriend Chris and I. While we have not yet been together a year, neither of us object to the idea like some people would. Much like another post I made, some people would say we are moving too quickly and that a promise ring is not a good idea or we should wait… I believe this is because of what most people think a promise ring means.

I’ve always heard that a promise ring symbolizes that one is promising the other that they will get married one day (in general terms), however, I have discovered that that’s not always the case…that’s not the only meaning it carries.

I have learned of people getting purity promise rings and of mothers getting their daughters a ring that matches with hers or even fathers getting their daughters one as a symbol for love. I even have a coworker who received a ring for her 16th birthday then another for her 21st from her parents.

Promise rings can also be worn on different fingers depending on what they symbolize.

In Chris and I’s case, more than likely if he were to give me a promise ring, I would wear it on my left ring finger because we have discussed the possibility that we may marry each other one day. Which would be one reason he would give it to me in the first place. In our defense, we have known each other almost a year because we were friends before we decided to date. Also our one year will be coming up in the next few months. Anyways, to me some of the other reasons why I would accept a promise ring early on is because it could symbolize him always being there for me, always being supportive, encouraging and caring. Plus it will be a while before we actually decided to get engaged and later married so a promise would simply be like our way of expressing our love until that time comes.

Now, do I need a ring for that, no, but that’s how Chris is and of course it is a very sweet gesture. With that, I am not asking him to pay every penny on a promise ring if he decides to do that. I let him know early on that I didn’t want anything expensive. Recently, he has asked me to give him an example of something I’d like, which he knows, but he asked because I am different about jewelry, I love vintage things so I told him I would something that is unique and incorporates both of us somehow. He chose the color blue since it is my favorite and I chose a princess cut because he calls me his princess. There are a few other details but they would be hard for my lovely readers to understand without pictures 🙂 plus it’s a little early to give out some details anyways.

The point here was really to show you that it doesn’t matter what other people think or say. People are quick to judge, it’s how the world is now. I have learned that no matter what you do in the world, good or bad, people will talk and you can’t please everyone all the time.

When and if the time comes, I will gladly accept a promise ring from my loving boyfriend and wear it every single day very proudly! ❤

Thanks for reading ladybugs and manbugs 🙂

Being in a serious relationship in your 20s

Sorry for the silence the past week or so, I just got finished with taking finals last week and trying to work out work schedules and all that, but anyways, I decided to make a post today about having a serious relationship while your in college since one of my last post was about my boyfriend and I.

I don’t know about you, but I have always been told or heard that you shouldn’t settle down early, live your life how you want and do this or this and that before you worry about love and finding who you want to be with. While I think it’s a good idea to take your time with it and don’t settle for just anyone, I don’t think that everyone needs to wait until they are almost 30 to find that special person or to be with them. For some people, they find their special someone a little earlier in life and that’s okay despite what anyone else says.

I believe having a serious relationship at a young age is a good way to learn to “grow up”  in a sense and mature into the person you were meant to be. It teaches you how to be selfless and that the world doesn’t, never has and never will revolve just around you.

I met Chris almost a year ago. We didn’t go immediately into a relationship, we hung out, had fun and got to learn about each other first. We have been together now for 8 amazing months and we still have fun together and we still learn about each other. Being with Chris has taught me a lot about people, love and about myself.

For starters, I have learnt how I should be treated. Chris is very good to me and I thank him for that every time I think about it. He has showed me what it’s like to be with someone who truly cares for you.

With that, he has shown me what it is to truly care for someone other than yourself and to want for that person. To want their happiness over your own. To pray for them more than you pray for yourself. To be selfless!

We have shown one another what its like to have your best friend and lover be the same person. Chris and I have more fun together and do more together than anyone else. We pick what we both want to do, what we both want to eat, what movie to watch, etc. We are the one each other turns to when we have a bad day or when we just need to vent. When we have exciting news, we can’t wait to let each other know. We talk about things a lot of people are embarrassed to talk about in front of their boyfriend or girlfriend. To me, we are literally the definition of best friends and he taught me how to be that way, just as I taught him.

We have shown each other how to share just about everything. We have shared secrets, stories and memories. We share food, time, space and even money here and there. When were out late on weekends, he stays at my house and I let him have my room while I take the couch. If I stay at his brothers house with him, he gives me the bigger couch while he takes the small one. We both pay for things for each other, which because he is a gentleman, he pays for most, but I will talk him into letting me get things here and there too!

We have shown each other what it means to love another person more than yourself. As cliche as it sounds, it’s true! There have been times when he has gone out of his way to do things for me and I have done the same for him.

The key here though isn’t what you do for each other or how much you sacrifice, that’s just part of it. What really matters here is that you figure out who you are because of them. Chris teaches me what I really want from a partner. He teaches me how I should feel, how he should make me feel. He has helped me figure out what I want out of life and has given me part of it. He has helped me cross things off my bucket list here and there. He has shown me what it’s like to be supportive and encouraging.

There is a lot more to Chris and I’s relationship. But I will admit that it is far from perfect. There are plenty of times when we get aggravated or upset or mad with each other and we know that’s natural and it’s okay. Just remember that if in a disagreement, watch your words and instead of screaming at one another, talk it out. If I’m pretty angry I use facial expressions or a different tone in the way I speak instead of yelling.

Anyways, I know that I in no way regret ever having a serious relationship being only 21. I am a better person than I was because of Chris and I have learned a lot over the past few years. I think that having this type of closeness with someone at a young age can be very beneficial because it guides you as you grow and shows you things you can’t see on your own! I know that this is not for everyone, which is okay. I just really wanted to express my opinion and help others see that it’s not bad to know what you want early on. Maybe in a few years when I’m at a different place in life,  I will give an update to see if I still feel this way for all of my readers!

Thanks for reading ladybugs and manbugs 🙂

Merry Christmas!

Dating someone older than you (girls perspective).

Hello my ladybugs and manbugs (if you’re reading)!

I decided to write this post today as a way to give a little relationship advice, but my point here will be basically why I never said I would never date someone more than 3 years older than me and why I changed my mind! I would also like to add real quick that the image you see above is my current boyfriend, Chris, and I. 🙂

In high school, I always told myself that I would never date someone more than 3 years older than me, my high school sweetheart ( I am no longer with him) was only 2 years older than me, while me and him are still friends, we decided mutually that a relationship was just not for us and it took us a long time to figure it out. I do not consider him a waste of my time though, some people are blessings and some are lessons. I have had my fair share of lessons, but that’s okay because you need to tell you what you want. No relationship is ever a failure in my opinion.

Anyways, In February of this year, I made the bold decision to try out a dating website which I was very skeptical of at first and wasn’t expecting to get much out of at all. I tried 2 different sites actually, POF and OkCupid. I had a couple conversations which a few different people which most turned out with very little luck! I actually did wind up meeting one guy and he seemed very interested in me but I was not very interested in him ( I had good reasons). POF was pretty much a hopeless cause for me.

After a few days of being on OkCupid, this random guy messaged me. He was cute however and through scoping out his profile, it seemed like we had a lot in common. However, he was 25 years old and I was 20 at the time so I was even more skeptical, but I thought I would give the guy a break, like I said he seemed nice. I messaged him back saying hello and told him my name like he did me but got no response back that night which I didn’t think much of. The next day, I went about my usual school and work routine and returned home. While relaxing a little that night, I got another message on OkCupid from, we’ll call him simple plan fan because that’s what his name was on the site. Simple plan fan responded back to me which I later found out that he didn’t want to scare me away by seeming to eager.

That first initial conversation was actually very easy. We had no problem keeping conversation. We talked for about 4-5 hours that night and at the end of our convo, we only knew about 2 simple things about each other which was types of music we liked and the fact the we both liked soccer. I had never a connection with someone like I did with this guy. The next day we talked again after I got off of work. I was so excited about this guy that I just had to tell my best friend about him. I also found out his real name. When I told my best friend, Billie Jean, who he was, she knew him and knew he was a good guy which made me feel a lot better. I also creeped on his Facebook page lol ( no judgement). His profile picture made me giggle 🙂

Well, simple plan fan and I talked for about 2 weeks before actually meeting in person. We met at a Mardi Gras parade in Downtown Mobile which is my hometown. When I first saw him, I felt this huge urge to just give him a hug lol so I did and he also brought me a pretty pink rose and chocolate covered strawberries! What a first impression right! We had a lot of fun that night and from that point on, he met my mom and I at almost every parade we had downtown.

Our first official date together was another parade first, dinner, then an event called Glowrage that comes to Mobile every few months. Glowrage is a neon paint dance party. You go and dance to electronic dance music and get covered in water-based paint lol, pretty fun! I was pretty embarrassed and shy about dancing with him and all, but I in a way broke the ice a little bit by making the bold move of squirting paint in his hair! We both relaxed a little bit after that and had a great time dancing with each other. When we left at 2 a.m. lol, he held my hand walking to his car 🙂 From that point on, we hung out, talked and all even more! We clicked with each other!

Now for the big reveal, simple plan fan was/is my current boyfriend Chris 🙂

Chris and I talked and hung out together for about 2 months before he asked me to be his girlfriend! He did it very special too by taking me to my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden, then he took me a little coffee place over in Fairhope, which is where he is from, then we walked around the Fairhope pier. There’s this beautiful fountain by the pier and in front of that pier is where he asked me to be his girlfriend and where we shared our first kiss 🙂

Today we have almost been together 8 months and let me say that giving him a chance was the best decision I ever made! I love his family, they have always been very welcoming and loving. And Chris and I work so well together on many levels, he treats me like I am the only thing that matters and does what he can which I do what I can for him as well. It’s the right kind of give and take.

The point here was the age thing though, and I honestly have to say that I love being with someone older than me, such as Chris. It is true that girls mature faster than guys, at least most of the time and with Chris being 5 years older than me, our maturity levels match up pretty good. Sure we have differences, which is healthy, but I have never once thought in our relationship, “wow he needs to grow up,” or anything along those lines.

Older guys probably aren’t for everyone, I know that but if you’re a girl and you’ve had your fair share of guys that acted out in the wrong ways, try an older man, you might be surprised just like I was!

Thanks for reading ladybugs 🙂 (and some manbugs)!